A Wake-Up Call in Retirement: Scott’s Story
The Early Journey
When Scott reflects on his journey with alcohol addiction, he finds this description mirrors his own experience.
Raised in Kentucky as the oldest of five children to a father who was an engineer for Ford and a mother who provided a strong religious upbringing, Scott described himself as a bit of a loner who always felt as if he didn’t fit in, While he eventually connected with a group of neighborhood friends, those relationships ended when his family moved out of state for his father’s job. Just entering 6th grade, Scott found himself alone again, turning to reading fiction and listening and playing music for his companionship. Loneliness would be disrupted by a new yet another life change.
South American Fun
“My father was offered a job in Venezuela, South America when I was in high school,” Scott said. “Our whole family moved there, where I was enrolled in a small, international high school. Here I found a very social group of English-speaking buddies. There was a party somewhere every weekend, and alcohol was served to anyone who could put money on the table.”
When he was a senior, he and some of his friends were partying in a park at the base of a statue. One of his friends decided it would be a good idea to climb the statue, and Scott was the victim of a bad decision gone wrong.
“The top of the marble statue came crashing down on my right hand virtually crushing my little finger,” he recounted. “It was at that moment that I decided my drinking/partying career needed to be over.”
United States Buzz
Upon graduation, the family moved back to the United States. He decided to protect his alcohol-free life by selecting a small, religious college, Oral Roberts University. Things went well there for about a year and a half, but then the money ran out. He moved back to Kentucky where he commuted to University of Louisville to finish his degree.
“I worked part time for a pizza shop to earn money. But after work, I could be found drinking beer with friends till about midnight or 1:00 a.m. It was all about the buzz,’ he said.
However, when he met the woman who would become his wife, his drinking slowed down. Following graduation, he and his then wife moved to Knoxville, Tennessee where he took a job with the Federal Government’s Department of Housing and Urban Development. Outside of work, he enjoyed playing a round of golf which always included beer drinking.
“In 2000, I was offered a promotion and the opportunity to move to DC for my job. Since moving to DC didn’t appeal to my wife and me, I negotiated working from home instead. It was at this time, we decided since I could work from anywhere, we would move to Holmes County a place my wife had visited and loved.”
While it was great to have the opportunity to work from home, Scott knew it wasn’t great for his mental health. He had battled depression over the course of his life and with all his colleagues in DC, he turned to secret drinking in the evening after his wife went to bed. On the weekends, he would lie about how many beers he had consumed when he went out with friends, but he still felt like he was in control of his drinking.
Parental Decisions
“During this time, my wife was teaching bible school for churches down south in Winchester, OH, that couldn’t afford their own program. There we met Caleb, a young man living in a broken down trailer with a father who was in and out of this life. We saw that he was a great kid with lots of potential. He got good grades and shared our love of music. It was then that my wife and I decided we had the confidence to become parents and offered this young man a chance to come live with us and become our son,” Scott said.
Caleb thrived and eventually went on to pursue a degree at Ashland University where he obtained a degree which enabled him to become a music teacher. In the meantime, we began mentoring Mariah, a 13-year-old girl at church. She was born to drug addicted parents, had been in and out of foster care, and had all the scars of a child living through abuse and neglect.
“We took the route of foster to adopt making sure she had access to counseling and whatever help she needed as she faced her struggles with schoolwork and mental health. She had a boyfriend who also was living in a dysfunctional home, and with good intentions, we allowed him to move in with us.,” Scott reflected.
Now with two kids in counseling, one being a 16- year-old young woman with tremendous anger issues, Scott found himself in a high stress household.
“I felt helpless and overwhelmed. Now when I drank in secret, I switched from beer to bourbon so my wife couldn’t smell it. At first it was only two to three nights a week, but eventually it happened every night. While I could quit for several months, I would always return to it. Eventually the time between me being clean got shorter and shorter.,” Scott said.
Things went from bad to worse. Their daughter’s boyfriend got angry with Scott and physically attacked him pushing him to the ground. He was asked to leave. Mariah turned 18 in her senior year and left home only to couch surf with anyone who would let her stay with them until she graduated.
“It was heartbreaking! She moved to Canton where she would do whatever to keep going. She danced at a club, got picked up for possession of cocaine, and lost touch with us. We learned that she moved to Phoenix, Arizona, and then Texas. We would maybe hear from her every two months.”
Retirement Adjustments
After 34 years with the Federal Government, Scott retired. Losing contact with his daughter and all the boyfriend trauma had taken its toll on his mental health. Add to that, he experienced a loss of fulfillment and identity upon retirement. He didn’t know what to do with himself. A round of golf with his one buddy always included a 6 pack of beer, and his secretive night drinking continued. Along with the drinking, he was taking antidepressants.
“Then came the straw that broke the camel’s back. We had a mild December that allowed me to go out and golf. I drove one hour by myself to a course where I drank my way through the round. When I drove home drunk, my wife confronted me and told me that after 30 years together, I had to either take action to address my addiction or she would be calling an attorney,” he recalled.
Knowing that his life would be cut very short without the love he shared with his wife, he decided to take action and turn to OneEighty for help.
All In On The Plan
Along with his one-on-one counseling sessions, he participated in Intensive Outpatient Therapy at OneEighty. But he found that as an older participant, he didn’t share the same struggles and problems as the younger members.
“I was dealing with aging parents, retirement/work withdrawal, and health concerns. I needed hearing aids, bifocals, and was only missing prostate issues to secure what I call the ‘old man trifecta’”, he laughed. I shared my feelings with my counselor who told me she was starting an Intensive Outpatient group with people my age that she thought I would find more helpful. Once I switched, I was all in on whatever it took to navigate my road to recovery.”
Included in his treatment plan was participation in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) which he attended two to three times a week. He found a sponsor who, while younger than he was, had traveled the road he was trying to navigate.
“I found the fourth step, moral inventory and the fifth step in AA to really impact my understanding of my own challenges,” he said. “I realized that I had lived my life in fear, fear of social situations and not being accepted. My aha moment occurred when I realized that there is no connection without vulnerability.”
From Retired To Tired
His story is not complete without sharing the reentry of his daughter Mariah in his life. After two years of not seeing her, she returned home to tell her parents she was pregnant. While she tried to navigate work, parenthood, and living with a man who wasn’t ready to be a father alone, she reached out again for help.
“My sobriety date is December 13, 2023. My granddaughter was born one month later on January 13, 2024,” Scott said. “I felt like that was a sign from God. My daughter and granddaughter are now living in our home. My wife and I share the responsibility of caring for this wonderful new life while my daughter works. I’ve gone from retired to ‘tired’ but I am no longer leading a secret life. I continue to work my recovery plan.”
When asked for advice for others facing what he went through his message is clear.
“You may think you can do this alone, but like I found out, it doesn’t last without all the tools for understanding the disease. It’s hard work, but if you work the plan, go to meetings, connect with the right people that help support your efforts, you can do it.”
And as Dr. Labor says, “Recovery isn’t just possible; it’s often a path filled with unexpected joys and rediscoveries. Imagine it as a road trip: Sure, there might be bumps along the way, but with the right map—therapy, support groups, community resources—older adults can navigate through the complexities of addiction.”
OneEighty Resources
For those encountering a substance use crisis, please call OneEighty’s Substance Use Crisis hotline, available 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, at 330-466-0678. For other resources, click the links below:
Community Relations & Prevention
Substance Use Treatment Navigator Hotline
Intimate Partner & Domestic Violence booklet (Wayne County)Self-Help Legal Manual
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